Pinpricks

I was cleaning out my purse today
And before I got through all the gum wrappers
And your old empty cigarette packs,

I pricked myself on a leftover needle
From when I sewed your name
Into my sleeve and accidentally –
Without realizing it
Sewed it onto my skin.

And that needle, when it pricked me
Felt like that day two years ago
On the porch behind your house
When you touched my left shoulder
And crashed through the
Maze of my synapses and I felt
Every single part of me crack and shatter
And heal all at once

Don’t kiss girls the way you do
Because you don’t know how many
Out there are like me and have become addicted to the
Pinprick of your mouth like the drug you are,
Shooting through the blue-black veins underneath my skin,
And with every pulse, the need to relapse grows
Stronger, and
Stronger

Until all that’s left to hear
Is the whisper of your breath between our
Clasped hands, clutched hands, grasping -gasping for you,
And all that’s left to see are the brilliant
Yellows and oranges of the
Sun and the stars and the moonshine
That you brew in the still that holds me captivated
And boiling.

Don’t kiss girls the way you do
Because these are my lips and when you kiss them
I demand that you hold me in that way that makes me feel
Like I will never have to feel the stabbing pain that you dealt me when you left.
Don’t kiss girls the way you do,
Because your arms are occupied
And not with me.

You leave and you don’t bother saying goodbye
And I am left with all of the pinpricks, all of the gum wrappers,
And empty cigarette packs,
The empty silhouette past the point
Of any hope or chance of you returning.

Anyway, while I was cleaning out my purse
I found one of your lighters.

I thought you might want it back.